TITLE: The Mythical Season 3.5 - Episode 1

BY: Kace Evers

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Aeroplane

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It's been a rough few days for everyone. Shane, set to wed Carmen left her at the altar and took off for home on a bus. Bette's run off with baby Angelica, infuriating Tina and Henry. Meanwhile, Tina, Henry, Kit, Angus, Jenny, Max, Alice and Lara all join Helena on the Peabody Private Jet for home. Helena knows that this is probably the last time she'll get this luxury and the feeling of being cut off financially by her Mother is still slowly and soberly setting in.

Everyone's boarded and ready to leave their nightmarish reality behind. Seated in one corner are Alice and Lara with Helena across from them. Closer to the front is Max and Jenny. Tina, Henry, Kit and Angus are all seated in a seperate section.

Henry: So Bette called?

Tina: Yeah...

Kit shakes her head as Angus just has a look of concern on his face.

Kit: I don't know what Baby Sis was thinkin', Tina.

Tina: She's on her way home.

Tina sighs.

Tina: It was a pretty heated conversation over the phone. She takes off with my baby and tells me she wants to work it out!

Kit: I...I don't know what to tell ya, Tina.

Tina: Kit...she's got a lot of nerve.

Henry: She sure does. We can have her ass in the slammer for doing this. Work it out...hah! She must be out of her mind.

Kit: ...

Tina: Henry...I know you're upset. We're all upset. Bette did a really stupid thing....but I'm gonna need you to just settle down and leave the anger to me, okay?

Henry: We're THIS close to having that family, Tina. Bette's trying to take that away.

Tina: Henry...I've known her for a long time now. I know when she says she wants to work things out, she means it. As soon as I get off the plane, I'm calling her to let her know I'm in LA. After that, she's updating me on how close she is to home. I'm pretty pissed off right now, but you know what? She said the magic words....

Angus: ...She said "I love you?"

Kit, Tina and a very annoyed Henry all stop and look at Angus.

Angus: ...What?

Tina: She said she's no longer consulting Joyce Wishnia. It was a mistake when I did and it's a mistake for her, too.

Henry: Well, that's great and all, but she still has our baby.

Tina: ...My...baby.

Tina shoots Henry a very cold look.

Tina: We are close, Henry. But right now, we're not there, alright?

Kit: Tina....You 'n' Bette been through a lot. And I think Bette realizes that now.

Henry: Yeah and now she's abducting children.

Kit: Henry!

Now Kit shoots Henry a cold look.

Tina: Kit, it's okay. Henry....I like you. But right now...I really need you to shut the fuck up.

Henry: You never talked like this before.

Tina: Yeah, well you haven't seen me this pissed before, either. Alright, this isn't about you. This isn't about us. This is Bette driving off with my baby without permission.

Henry looks over at Angus and shakes his head.

Henry: Tell me something, Angus.

Angus: Sure.

Henry: Is this how lesbians always are around each other?

Kit's about to say something, but Angus gently squeezes her hand and assures her with a calm expression that he can handle this. It's a notable moment as Kit has faith in Angus to do so.

Tina: You son of a-

Angus: Tina?

Tina: What!

Angus now gives her the same reassuring expression. He then addresses Henry.

Angus: Look, dude. This isn't a "lesbian" thing as you call it. I've been around straight people, gay people, bi's....you name it, I've been around it. This is universal, man. We're talking about two people who loved one another for a long time having an issue that needs to be worked out.

Henry: No, we're talking about someone committing an illegal act!

Angus: And you're on the verge of losing her!

Angus points directly at Tina while keeping his eyes on Henry.

Angus: I've noticed that the more you keep talkin', man the more you bury your chances at having that family life.

Tina looks down.

Tina: ....He's right, Henry. We may be dealing with someone who's done something really stupid, but we're still talking about Bette.

Henry: After all this, you still have feelings for her?

Tina: I have a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of things right now. I don't know what's going to happen when I get home. I don't even know if I'll have a job when I get home.

Kit: ...Oh, shit. That's right....Helena's studio.

Tina: Exactly. We were all so shocked that neither me or Helena bothered to ask Peggy if she'd still be able to run that. And top of all that, I gotta wait for Bette to bring Angelica home safely. So, Henry please do me a favor and just don't say anything.

Henry: Fine.

Kit appears stressed out. Angus notices this and while still holding her hand, raises is up and softly kisses it. Kit just sighs and rests her head on his shoulder. Henry leans back, deciding not to participate any longer. Angus breathes in Kit's hair and then looks at Tina.

Angus: I think she likes me.

Angus gives a hearty smirk and in spite of all her stress and rage, Tina can't help but crack a smile.

Tina: Well, at least somebody I know has some stability.

Helena hasn't said much sense boarding the plane. High up in the air, she still has a look of being shellshock. Alice and Lara have fought the urge to talk to each other. Finally, Alice breaks.

Alice: You um....said you needed to tell me something....?

Alice has a look of concern on her face as she's still unsure about this conversation idea, despite vowing to it just days earlier.

Lara: ...When we're alone, okay?

Alice: ...Okay.

Alice looks over at Helena.

Alice: You okay?

Helena is lost in her own world, still.

Lara: Helena?

Alice: Helena.

Helena comes out of her apparent trance and looks across at Alice and Lara.

Helena: I'm...sorry. I just.....I don't know. This is a feeling that's unfamiliar to me. I have a bank account and thankfully I've been able to save something over the years. But....the house. I don't even think I'll be able to afford living there.

Alice: You bought it, though right?

Helena: I purchased it in full, yes. But maintaining it, along with the housekeeping personnel and everyone else who's hired to keep things functionable. I don't think I can afford all that. And keeping up with the bills after a while will catch up to me and I'll be left with nothing. Heh...you know it's ironic.

Alice: What is?

Helena: Originally when I purchased my Beach House, it was the dream home. It was everything I wanted...everything I needed. The children had plenty of room and at the time, me and Tina were together and it was going to be the perfect place for all of us. For the several months, it's been more like a desolate wasteland and after Dylan, there's just no solace to it, anymore. And now it's become this cumbersome building that's going to cause me to be broke.

Lara: Don't you have the studio?

Helena: I don't know to be perfectly honest. When the plane touches down, I'll ask Mummy. I.....don't know what to do here. I may not have a studio to run. Everyone who helps maintain the beach house are about to be out of work. Tina may be out of work, too if the studio's killed off. And I certainly won't be able to stay in that house anymore.

Helena has a look of sheer hopelessness on her face.

Helena: I....I'm lost.

Alice: No, you're not. You've got friends...including me. I don't know if I'll be able to handle all of your belongings, but if all else fails, you can crash on the couch in my apartment.

Helena: I....couldn't do that to you, Alice.

Alice: You're not doing anythng to me, Helena. I'm your friend and you've been there for me. I'm here for you.

Lara: Alice..?

Alice: Shit. I just realized that Lara's staying over as well.

Helena: You.....oh, that's right...you were staying with Dana, before.....

Lara: ..........yeah.

Lara bites at her lower lip and closes her eyes, looking off to the side.

Alice: I made sure she had a place to stay. She was in a motel and I dunno...I wanted to help.

Lara: ...Something like that....

Lara continues looking off to the side.

Alice: Look...we'll figure this out. Alright? We'll figure something out.

Helena: You're too kind, Alice. Lara?

Lara looks up at Helena.

Lara: Hm?

Helena: Are you alright?

Lara sighs for a moment.

Lara: Are any of us right now?

Alice places her hand on the back of Lara's shoulders.

Alice: We're working on it.

Alice and Lara look at each other for a moment as Helena finds herself intrigued.

Lara: ....I hope so. I'm beginning to think someone out there doesn't like us.

Helena: I've had that same feeling, too.

Alice: I used to doubt the existence of God....but I tell ya...I'm almost convinced there's one now. And God's pretty fucking pissed off about something.

Lara: The Gods are crazy.

Alice: Let's just hope things turn around soon, 'cause right about now I'm ready to snap.

As Alice, Lara and Helena speculate on life and it's creator, things are different elsewhere inside the passenger jet as Jenny and Max sit across from one another, barely uttering any words.

Jenny: Max....

Max: What....

Jenny: Are you still pissed off?

Max: I don't know what I am right now.

Jenny: I liked her, she liked me. We kissed, we danced, we smoked cigarettes and we fucked all night long. And then we were finished. no regrets. No sorrow. No expectancy of further engagements. It actually felt nice for once. You know....life is so fucked up, sometimes that it takes something that to someone else can be just as fucked up for anything to make sense.

Max: ....What?

Jenny: I don't expect you to understand that, Max.

Max: Good, 'cause I didn't at all.

Jenny shrugs nonchalantly.

Max: That's the thing about you, Jenny. There's no chance of understanding. You don't understand what I'm going through with this transformation.....and at one time I thought I knew you, but more and more I'm not sure I know you at all.

Jenny: I think you're nice, Max. Sometimes you're not. Sometimes you're a monster. Sometimes you become everything I'm against. But you know what keeps me around you?

Max: What?

Jenny: What keeps me around you is that deep down, I know you're going through a change. It's tough for both of us and I admit...I don't know to handle it. Just as you don't know how to handle me. But you know what, Max? I've given up too many times with too many people. I'm not gonna give up on you.

Max: Okay.

Jenny: I don't know what this relationship is, Max. But I do know that I'm not ready for you to give up your dreams. It's not a dream I share, but I know it's what you want. I hope you get it. And no matter how many times we get upset at each other, we're still going to be friends.

Max: But not fuck buddies.

Jenny: No. Not fuck buddies. I want to be with a woman who likes the idea of being a woman.

Max: Yeah. I don't blame you.

Jenny: What about you? I mean, aside from just being a man and having a boring job with a bunch of heterosexual sexist oppressors, what else do you want?

Max: To just be happy. And really with all that's happened to everyone of us...you, me, Shane, Carmen....Helena, Alice, Lara....Tina and Bette and Kit and Angus and Henry and everyone else....it'd just be great if we could have some happiness for once.

Jenny smiles.

Jenny: I agree. But how?

Max: I don't know.

Jenny: Neither do I. Really, right now I just hope Shane's alright. And God, I feel bad for Carmen.

Max: Yeah...that sucks, man.

Jenny: Yes. Yes it does.

Up in the sky, all is quiet for the moment inside the Peabody Private Jet. Elsewhere, Shane sits alone on a bus. There's no emotion....only a longing to go home.

On another jet elsewhere in the sky, the Morales family console a quiet Carmen. All she wants to do is get back to her family's home, even if it means leaving behind whatever's at Shane and Jenny's house.

Somewhere, out in the paved wilderness there is no silence inside a vehicle. Bette drives along, determined to get home and talking to herself aloud while tricking herself in believing that she's really just talking to Angelica. Baby Angelica sleeps while Bette rambles on.

Bette: Angelica, baby....since I'm on a roll here I might as well make a confession. Angelica, baby...Mama Bee's really....really....stupid. I don't wanna lose you. I don't wann lose Tee....not to Henry or any other man....or any other woman for that matter.....I know that and it's silly to continue feeling as if I should otherwise. Once upon a time, Mama Bee and Mama Tee meant everything to each other. Mama Bee and Mama Tee wanted to start a family. Mama Bee found the right donor and Mama Tee gave of herself and her body. We tried once and had a miscarriage. We tried again and this time, you came into our world. I don't want you to ever think that you drove us apart, because you didn't...you understand...??? You didn't. You're a good girl caught up in a bad situation. But Mama Bee and Mama Tee are going to work this out, one or the way. Because....Goddammit this story I'm telling you deserves a happier ending. And I'll do everything I can, even something as stupid as this to make that happen, Angelica. Because you and Mama Tee are all that matter to me. Are you happy I stopped talking to Ms. Wishnia? Baby...?

Bette looks over to see Angelica sleeping. She even hears a slight snoring from her.

Bette: Yeah...I know. I've been called boring before by my friends, too.

Bette chuckles for a moment.

Bette: We're going home, Angelica, Even if it's the last thing I do before losing everything.

Bette continues driving as the car heads for home and whatever fate awaits her once she gets there.

To be continued…